No words...

There are times when the power of language is all one needs to more than adequately express oneself - vows of love at a wedding; a thunderous sermon from the pulpit; an uplifting speech from a motivational speaker; whisperings at break time between two teenagers both trembling with anticipation at their plans for the evening. We all know just how much those three famous little words have, at some stage, weakened our knees and sent butterflies quivering through our bellies.

But there are times when those same three famous little words have been emptier than a barrel once all the wine has been poured and the guests have left.

Today a friend and her husband laid their ten-day old daughter to rest. Sweet little girl, I never met you but I do remember the day your mom told me she was pregnant with twins. And I also remember the day I walked into her office to find her distraught at the discovery that you were not growing as you should be. She was so strong, all the way though the rest of her pregnancy, she was upbeat and optimistic that all would be well.

You were born and I was convinced that you would make it through your ordeal. I saw a picture of you in the hospital, and despite all the contraptions surrounding you, you looked like an angel. Little did we know that a few days later, that is exactly what you would become. An angel in the hearts of your parents and all those close to them.

Today at your funeral there were no words to express the sadness I felt. Nothing I could have said would have made a difference - today, I imagine, it was the physical presence and the silence of the people around you that said more than words could say. I don't understand why your parent's god would take you away from them; or what your little soul would have learnt in the short time it inhabited your body. I am more than positive though that you knew of the love surrounding you and that love on its own was enough. I also comprehend that wherever you are now is better than where you were. That you now have no pain in a physical body and only love in your heart.

My hope for your parents is that they are able to lean on each other and gain strength from those around them. They will tell you many, many times during the rest of their lives how much they love you, and I hope that as time goes by, those words feel less empty to them; less like there is no one there to hear them; less painful. That eventually they will be able to smile at the memory of you.

And so while I mourn the loss of one so young and the life you never did get to live, and I sympathise with your parents, I also celebrate the birth of your sister, and know that she will give your parents much opportunity to love unconditionally, to learn of lessons they never knew existed and to experience the pure joy that only children can bring to our lives.