Battle of wills

My children have suddenly lost something fairly vital to their survival, and to my sanity - their ears!

When Ella came home from school at the beginning of this year with a pair of listening ears they had each made in class, I wondered how soon it would be before I would have to use them, and that I should maybe make a pair for Jemma too, but then I thought that actually wearing them might be so much fun that it would kind of defeat the purpose - you know, "It's fun wearing those ears so let's not listen to Mom and maybe she'll make us wear them". And, anyway, they weren't doing too badly at the whole listening thing. This has changed... 

My kids are good. It's very rare that I've had to use a naughty chair/corner or any other means of discipline. I don't have to count to 5, or 10, stomp my feet, or threaten death and destruction. In fact, they were totally gobsmacked over the December break when one of their cousins was relegated to the bathroom when she was acting up - and I recently overheard Jem tell one of her dolls to stay in the bathroom because she was being naughty (had to think of you then Andy :-)). They've never had to be disciplined at school and everyone just adores them. All it's taken, most of the time, is 'the look'. My Mom had it too - that look that said, "Best you do what I say unless you want me to lose my marbles" (and that's putting it nicely). 'The voice' works too - just a slight change in tone - and the kids come running - or used to...

Recently I've been finding it harder and harder to get the girls to do what I want/need them to do, and it's been driving me crazy. One evening over the Easter weekend, I had one of those moments when you seem to step outside of your body and look down at what is happening around you. I saw myself standing at the top of the stairs, outside the bathroom, with a pink Hello Kitty toothbrush in each hand, nagging the girls over and over again to come and brush their teeth - and I thought, "What a huge waste of my time!". Ella was looking for pyjamas for her doll, and kept yelling "Coming Mom!". Jemma was standing beside her bed, playing with some toy and totally ignoring me. And then I had an epiphany - tired of trying to remain calm, yet not wanting to lose it entirely, I decided to mix things up a little, and really teach them a lesson. I put the toothbrushes away and calmly made my way downstairs. I hung some washing that had been sitting in the machine. I warmed up my dinner. I sat down to eat my dinner - and even watched some TV. I was wonderfully calm and the house was perfectly at peace, with just a few murmurs coming from overhead. With only a few mouthfuls left of my dinner, I heard an uncertain little voice float down the stairs, "Mom, what's going on?". I told them that I was busy - I was eating dinner and watching TV, and that they should both brush their teeth and put themselves to bed because I was tired of talking and not being listened to, and so I would say goodnight when I was ready!
We have a pretty set evening routine, obviously it differs on weekends and during the holidays, but my girls are very used to me reading them a story and tucking them into bed. This new development was enough to get them thinking - and listening. I heard some pottering around in the bathroom - and then silence. Deciding that I probably shouldn't leave them for too long, I spent a few more minutes on the couch before I crept upstairs to see what they were up to. 'Tjoepstil'. I couldn't help but giggle - not at the fact that they had finally done what I wanted them to do, but at their reaction to this unusual situation. With minty breaths as proof of clean teeth, lights out and blankets pulled up around their shoulders, they were waiting to see what would happen next. I gave them huge hugs and big kisses, wished them sweet dreams, told them I loved them with ALL my heart - and left them to sleep.

I think it's called creative parenting :-)

Days later and I only have to mention the word 'ears' to my Ella Bee before she literally jumps to attention. Not quite the same with Jem though. I have known for a while now that my youngest daughter and I are going to have a serious battle of wills. She's stubborn as a mule, that child! She and I have interesting times ahead, but she is only 3 - she's also gorgeous, funny, happy and affectionate - and I love her always and forever.

xoxo